Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Friends, vacation advice, a good book

I have had the good fortune to have found unbelievably good friends over the years. Friends who've stuck by me my entire life. Friends who have loved me even when I have been at my most unlovable.
Friends like Andy Froh whom I've known since grade school.
Jay Cordes, my friend for over 40 years, (Dude! Forty years!), who is not only very smart, but has the wisdom to understand and appreciate that no matter how much money you make, it means very little if you don't have someone you can lend it to.
(That's generally where I come in. Just trying to keep up my end of the relationship...).
There's guys like Skeeter and Kav and Madge and Ponytail Pete. Fellow surivors of Catholic High School...
Cainer and Goose and Super Bill Nico (who taught me everything I know about food and cooking. Things like, "The secret to good cooking is to add more garlic" and "If it doesn't taste right, add more garlic" and "Are you sure you've added enough garlic to that?")
Jenny Generous, (no, that's not her dancer name, it's her name. How cool is that?)
Mary Ann Perone who sent me birthday cards when my own parents didn't send me birthday cards.
There's Dacron and Toulon, Goog and Gump, Ron Wey and Clint and Wyatt and Sivak Center, (the nicest man in America).
There's Frankly Speaking (I can Bares-ly Stand It) and Timmy Toes, too.
Supporters all in word and in deed...
There was Bobby G (who left too soon).
And that's a small sample...

And then there's my friend from below the Mason-Dixon line.

Robert Kahle.
RK.
Senior Private.
Dark Meat. (Don't ask).
The Man who Wears The Ring.
The arbitor of music that's Worth It.
The Virtuoso of Vinyl.
The Keeper of the Lists.

A proud South Carolinian.

(After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers in the weeks that followed, an archaeologist in California dug to a depth of 20 feet and shortly afterwards, headlines in the LA Times newspaper read: 'California archaeologists have found traces of 200-year-old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.'
One week later, The Greenville News, a local newspaper in South Carolina, reported the following: 'After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Travelers Rest, Greenville County, South Carolina, Bubba Mitchell, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has, therefore, concluded that 300 years ago, South Carolina had already gone wireless.)

Who said South Carolinians were hicks?

Some years ago I had the good fortune to take a vacation in South Carolina.
I choked on fishbones and almost died at a fish-fry in Moose Kahle's back yard on the lake near Columbia. (Moose is Bobby's daddy. A Chicagoan transplanted to SC to play football for the Game Cocks). (Or is it Gamecocks? And why am I so uncomfortable with the difference, we're all adults here....)
As I slowly turned blue, my wife at the time, (the cute blond to whom Moose kept singing, "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?") was screaming, "He's choking! He's dying! Oh my god! Pat him on the back! Give him some bread!!" Eventually the bones were dislodged and here I am to tell the tale. (But for future reference and as Meat can now attest, hot buttered corn bread is not an effective choice for the dislodging of fishbones).

But I'm not bitter.

And that's not why I mention the vacation. It was a small bump on the road of an otherwise memorable trip.
We spent a few days in Charleston and the Isle of Palms at Patricia's (known in some circles as 'Kahula') grandmothers beach house. During that trip, we enjoyed dining el fresco at a place on Shem's Creek, and we did something very touristy that I enjoyed completely.
What we did was, we took a carriage tour.
An architectural / historical carriage tour.
I'm guessing that, like New Yorkers who never visit the Statue of Liberty, most South Carolinians have never taken one of these tours. It was unbelievable. (First shots of the Civil War delivered by Citadel cadets?! Rice as a major crop?)
I think even Bobby would reccomend it to you if you have a spare hour or so next time you're in the city.

Ever since then wherever I have traveled for business or pleasure I have looked for a similar experience and my life has been truely enriched as a result.
(There's an architectural boat tour on the Chicago River that will blow you away. If you get there give it a shot).
So, I'm a big fan.
And that's my vacation advice.
Read a book, unlax and chill.
Have a drink and eat something that you can't get at home.
Then take a tour. Find out something you didn't know before.
Get smarter as you get older...
By the way, the people in South Carolina were very cool.
There was just that one bumpersticker, "Beautify the South: Put a Yankee on a Bus".
I spoke with a more appropriate accent after seeing that.
Otherwise it was the very epitome of Southern Hospitality.
**********************************************************************************
"Adventures don't begin until you get into the forest. That first step is an act of faith." Mickey Hart (Grateful Dead drummer)

"Do not fear mistakes. There are none" Miles Davis

"One does not discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time" Andre Gide

##################################################################
So you say you're a Carl Hiaasen fan, (and who isn't), and you're looking for something to read when you go to the beach next month?
Might I suggest Tim Dorsey?
Like Hiaasen, he began his writing career as a newspaperman in Florida and is the author of a series of books that take place in Florida and feature psycho-serial-killer / ecologist / state historian Serge Storm as his anti-hero. The action is fast and furious and the prose makes me laugh out-loud.
(Another good thing to do on vacation - laugh out loud).
Not only that, but if you're like me, once you've found an author you like you want to read all he's got. And the good news with Dorsey is he has a whole series of these books already in print. Want more good news? You can buy his books right here on this website by going to the bottom of this page and clicking on the slideshow of books you'll find there.
Start with "Florida Roadkill".
Can you dig it? I know that you can....dA

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Should I stay or Should I go?

I worked on a commercial deal up in Petosky last fall. A really good friend of mine was on the shoot. She's mostly done modeling work, and she's been very successful with print and car shows and commercial stuff that doesn't involve a lot of dialogue. But she's not sure she wants to be an actor.
I keep sending
her info about acting classes and audition opportunities and that stuff, in case she may be interested. I mean, she's already in the business. She knows the people, so I thought maybe she'd want the information.

"On August 2nd Maureen Fahey's bringing in Ed Lewis, a casting director from New York, for a class on auditioning for the camera."
I forwarded the info to my friend and she answered me back in part,

"....for someone that never wanted Sag or Aftra because was told I would get more work and more$ as non-union.... I'm at a total cross roads right now. I'm not an actor. I've worked for 10 yrs as non union and done well. Now we are talking about movies and moving forward and I'm not sure that I'm in that category. I'm not an actor. Times are hard...business is down and... I can move ahead but I'm not sure want to go in that direction, or that they'll think I'm young enough for all of this. I'm torn. How about some advice, friend to friend?"

You may have opened a can of worms here, kid. Grab yourself a cup of coffee and sit down. This may take a minute...

I read somewhere recently that no one should ever choose to be an actor unless they absolutely could not see or imagine themselves doing anything else. (Actually, I think it was at the end of Audition, Michael Shurtleff 's book that I keep reading again and again and again).

Times have changed in Michigan, for sure. There are unbelievable opportunities here now that didn't exist 3 months ago. And there are roles for every size shape and age. If you're going to do it, (join a union and do this seriously), now's the time, for sure.
That's good news. And for me there's nothing else.
I'm ruined for anything else.
I gave at the office for thirty years.
Now I just...can't. Well, at least I'm not gonna...
Here's the rest of the story:

Since I started down this road two years ago, I am become, um...how do I day this? Financially disadvantaged...(yeah, that works).
My seven year old Trial Blazer gets 16 mpg on the highway, When I can get it started. (I've been borrowing vehicles to get to auditions from Lansing for 10 days now). (Thank God it's paid for. All 197,000 miles of it...).

It's a $40 150 mile round-trip to get to auditions in Southfield. (That's where the work is...)
I've sold my record collection.

I sold my guitar!

I would have sold my flute but it would have cost $200 to get in shape and all I can get for it is $200!

I have been divorced for 15 years. For 13 years there were difficult times on occasion and sometimes bills would be a little late in getting paid,
but my ex always got paid.
Somehow in the past 12 months I've fallen, well, let's just say a tad in arrears.
My ex-wife is not amused. She's a nice person, but her sense of humor has becomed somewhat...strained.
She's been forced to remind me that in ten years I'll be 65 and "who will hire a 65 year old actor"?
I have been reminded from several fronts that my kids are...concerned... about the fact that I'm 54 and have no health insurance. They're cool. Just ... concerned. I don't blame 'em for that.

I have no @#&*ing clue when I'll see my next paycheck, (although I've got some good gigs coming up). (Don't laugh. There's always a gig coming up). I don't begrudge them being concerned. I appreciate their concern. They have been unbelievably supportive and I'm a lucky duck to have the kids I have.

I'll be damned if I'll embarass them. Again....

In an effort to supplement my income from acting, I have signed up to usher events for the Lansing Visitor and Convention Bureau and I will be a Standardized Patient for MSU's med schools beginning this fall - that's where you act out the symptoms of various diseases as a part of the educational process for our future MD's, DO's, nurses and veterinarians!
Commercials are great. You can make $100, $250, $500 an hour on commercials. But you can't do it 40 hours a week! And if you're not union there are no residuals.
And what's really tough is, just like you, I constantly question if I'm even a good actor!
(Jesus dude, You want cheese with that whine?)
I'm not whining.
I'm just trying to explain.
I really am the happiest man in America! (You know. Except for the money).

And none of that crap matters!

Because I'm also a True Believer.

God will provide? Well, yeah. But whatever because:

This is what I do.

This is what I'm going to do.

I know I'm not saving lives or changing history or bettering mankind.
But it's my purpose. It's how I am of use.
It's what I'm going to do until I can't do it anymore.
Dude! I'm a handsome, charming man in the richest country in the world!! I can do anything!!
As long as it's acting...

And, aside from all that, (as I am overly fond of saying), Better Days Ahead!
So. Do you really want to know what I think about you taking 'the next step'?
Figure out what's in your heart and do it
. Be true to what you've been created for.
Screw the money.
Screw what anyone else dares to say or think or try to do about it.
It's not true that you only get one chance in life. THANK GOD!
But it is true that you only get this life once.
Whatever you've done to mess it up in the past,
whatever risks you were too afraid or too responsible or too whatever to take in the past is in the past.
Whatever you've done that you shouldn't have done, (and let's face it, those were some good times),
get over it, get past it, forgive yourself and move on.
But don't screw around being an actor if you're not an actor. (You know, unless you got money).
Be what you are the best you can be.
Don't be afraid to challenge yourself with more if that's in your heart, but don't be ashamed or embarrassed if that's not what you want.
You don't have to explain it to anyone and you don't have to defend it.
You do what you want to do, what you believe in.
If you're not sure what that is, look in your heart. It's there.
Don't be afraid.
EMBRACE YOUR INNER BADDASS!

**********************************************************************************
In cool news: I GOT CAST THIS WEEK AS LT. CLARK IN THE MOVIE "tHE tHIRD dEGREE" STARRING VAL KILMER, ARMAND ASANTI AND ERIC ROBERTS! (PRETTY EXCITING, THAT ME, AN OVERFED, LONGHAIRED LEAPING GNOME, SHOULD BE CAST IN A HOLLYWOOD MOVIE (With a nod to Eric burdon and WAR). Thanks to Maureen Fahey-Dreher Casting for the opportunity and the late night call with the news. And to Lela Ivey who made the initial introduction.
Thanks too to Tony at the I-Group for a nice commercial/print gig from Men and a Truck this week. National ad with great exposure. Terry Such and Guy Armstrong Producing and running that show...
@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@
Thank you Annie Wilson (my favorite Annie anywhere) at The Talent Shop for hooking me up with 4 auditions this week. You're a good girl, Annie.
And Janet Pound (BABY!) from Affiliated for a nice print job next week and for always keeping my picture on the top of the pile! (You are a mere Shadow of your former self, you skinny thing...)
Almost forgot...thanks again to Maureen for that Hurley Hospital gig coming up next week...apparantly they were looking for the 'before' picture.....

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

...tune in, turn on...

I started dr0pping 0ut when I was in 3rd grade.

I had
Miss Blue that year. Miss Blue was very pretty. She was tall, (well, she looked tall to me. You know, I was like nine). She was blond and she was skinny. I was in love with Miss Blue. I would do anything for her. I brought her apples for her desk. (Don't call me a liar, I did). It was hard for me to concentrate on school work. I just couldn't take my eyes off her....

And I wanted to believe that, deep down, Miss Blue loved me too.

All I wanted in the third grade was to be a good kid. I wanted to be smart (like
John Donoghue), because good kids get good grades. Plus, there was Miss Blue. I wanted to make her happy. Apples only go so far. Even a third grader knows that.

But it wasn't working out. I couldn't keep up with the other kids. It was so...
embarrassing. I didn't want to be different. Not like that! I wanted to be loved.

And I thought, oh my god! What if I'm...dumb? If I was dumb, I could never be a good kid. And Miss Blue's gonna know!
How could I hide it?

What I needed was, like, a diversion!

But I didn't know from diversion!!

Then one day, early in the year, something happened, and it changed the course of my academic career.

I had watched the Jackie Gleason Show with my mom and dad and my sister Dawn over the weekend. There was this guy, Frank Fontaine, who played this character Crazy Guggenheim, (go here to see a clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGPCHT_NAus), with his hat all backwards and this really dopey laugh. He made me laugh so hard I cried! And I found out that I could sound just like him!
I was hilarious!! Even my sister said I was funny!

So the next day, for show and tell, I got up in front of the class and did
Crazy Guggenheim.

Dude. I killed those nine year olds!

John Donoghue said I was so funny I should be on TV!

ON TV?? Really???

That was the begining of the end.


It wasn't long before I was on the hard stuff: Red Skelton's Klem Kaddilhopper. Gertrude and Heathcliff, the talking magpies. The effing Bowery Boys!
A slippery slope, for sure.... Next thing I knew I was stealing from Rocky and Bullwinkle, ('Nothin' up my sleeve!', 'FAN MAIL from some Flounder?').
I was Manfred,(UH! The Wonder Dog!), Maynard G. Krebbs!! (Work. WORK!??)
I couldn't Stop!
I WAS STRUNG OUT, MAN!
I was all funny, all the time.
Math? Sorry. Didn't get it.
Science? Uh uh.
That was English? What was that?

(Reading? Well, reading was different. I could read like a mother. Out loud, especially. And the other kids liked it. It was like I was lost in those stories. I didn't even know I was using different voices in the narrative. The classroom didn't exist. Only the words coming off the page and the world I saw inside my head...)

Yeah. I wasn't right...

See, there was no A.D.D. when I was in third grade.
There were good kids and there were bad kids. I fought it. I did! But over time it became more and more obvious that I was not going to be a good student.

But was I funny. You know. For nine years old.

And you know what that meant....Bad kid on the horizon.

The point of no return came a few weeks later when Miss Blue decided on a competition.

The game? Multiplication problems on the blackboard.
Students up, one at a time, to solve the equations.
The prize?

Oh man! Screw the prize!! The prize didn't matter!!! I didn't have a clue how to do this stuff. IT HURT MY BRAIN!
(Oh god...sleepy now. Soo sleepy...).
This was bad.
This was real bad.

Please oh please don't call on me. Maybe I'll be sick. If I'm sick, I won't have to do it. Can I throw up? Diarrhea in front of the whole class? Ok, man, if that's what it takes. Oh please, Miss Blue. Mercy, Miss Blue! OH GOD MISS BLUE NOT ME!! I'M SORRY I'M FUNNY!! I WON'T BE FUNNY OR OBNOXIOUS OR INAPPROPRIATE ANY MORE, MISS BLUE!! PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME....
Um.Yes Miss Blue? But I don't feel good, Miss Blue. I ....
Oh.
Okay, Miss Blue.

There was no mercy in Miss Blue. She was there to teach and I, by GOD, was going to learn my lesson. I don't know how long I stood there,
chalk clutched tightly in my sweaty little hand. My back to the classroom. My neck and my ears red from shame. My eyes overflowing in embarrassment. An hour? A day? I didn't solve a single problem.
Miss Blue?

You broke my heart, Miss Blue...

That was the model I followed all the way through 12th grade. I wanted to quit every day I went to school. I was loud. I was obnoxious. (I know, some of you are thinking, "What do you mean was"??). I hung with a bad crowd. (God forgive you, Mike Pierce).

I was a straight D student.
I was miserable. I got in trouble in the public school so my folks moved me to the Catholic school my sophomore year. It helped, but it didn't change my scholarly progress.
I almost fit in.
But I wasn't really good at anything.

Then, when I was a junior, this woman
Kate Veihl, just graduated from Western Michigan University with a theater major and a teaching certificate, took the only job she could find. Teaching drama at Lansing Gabriel's.
And my friends Pat Cain and Andy Froh,
(a couple of funny guys in their own right), told me I should try out for the spring musical, "Guy's and Dolls".

I dusted off my best "Bowery Boys" imitation and, script in hand, I auditioned. People laughed! It was like... they wanted me to be funny!


Theatre, Catholic schoolgirls, psychedelic enhancement, rock n' roll and Kate Veil got me through the rest of high school.

Thanks, Kate.

And Miss Blue?
Screw Miss Blue.
By the end of my 3rd grade year, she became Mrs. Howlet and retired from teaching to ruin her own kids.

But I'm not bitter!
Hell, man. Except for the money, I'm The Happiest Man In America!

dA

Sunday, July 13, 2008

It's the weekend! Where's my list?

As it turns out, I am not that good at lists.

It's not really the lists that get me. It's keeping them in my head long enough to write them down. I think it's that attention deficit disord...oh my! Is that a smudge on the computer screen? No, the damned thing's scratched! You have got to be kidding me!

I really ought to check my e-mail....


What?

I caught a glimpse of my profile in the window at the QD yesterday.

Oh my god.

(Here's a list for you: Songs about fat guys. I can start with two off the top of my head. "Fat Man" from Jethro Tull's Stand Up LP, and "Fat Man In The Bathtub" by Little Feat. Okay, I almost forgot Howlin' Wolf "Built for comfort". (Somebody give me 7 more and we'll have a list).

The fact is, I don't want to be a fat man. (People would think that I was just good fun). So here's my deal. I'm losing 20 pounds. I know I can do it and I am gonna by god get it done. By the first of the year.

I'm not stroking you.

Have you seen Janet Pound lately? A mere shadow of her former self!

When I got home from my extended walk this morning I was cooling off at the computer and I had the iTunes going on. Up comes Dan Hicks and His Hot licks "My Old Timey Baby"! Nice. Then what do you know? That's right. Jackson Browne came on with "Fountain of Sorrow". I don't care what anyone says, those are some of the best lyrics in rock n' roll. Then guess what. Indigo Girls' "Galileo". I can't hear that song without thinking about Susie Cordes who thought it would liven up the party during a Jesus meeting at Wyatt's house to bring up reincarnation. (It's not Susies fault. Susie was just being Susie. George still has to hide his back copies of the NY Times whenever he has church friends over).

Then I got The Beatles' "Baby You Can Drive My Car", (beep-beep 'm beep-beep yeah!) (Okay, those are some of the best lyrics in rock 'n roll. How big do your testicle's need to be to put that to music and expect it to sell?) And then "Passenger Side" by Wilco ("...yer gonna make me spill my beer, if you don't learn how to steer.")

The point is HOW DO YOU PUT THAT ON A LIST???

Where's Bobby Kahle when you need him? Not returning my damned e-mails, that's for sure...

Maybe we'll revisit "list's" next week. In the meantime, I'm hoping to hear from someone who will pay me to take my picture....

**********************************************************************************
I had a commercial audition Thursday in Grand Rapids for Hurley Hospital. They have a wellness center they're going to be advertising. They are targeting middle aged people to get in and get in shape. I'm not encouraged. Apparently they're looking more for the 'after' picture than the 'before'. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

I have a 'hold' from The I Group for a print and on-camera thing for 2 Men and a Truck on the 22nd. As I have been recently reminded, a 'hold' is not a gig. It's more like a strong maybe. What they're really saying is, "Gee, I really think you're swell. Unless I run across someone cuter with a better personality, I'd like you to go to the dance with me. Maybe. So keep that date open. And buy yourself something pretty to wear. Just in case. I'll let you know."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity" Albert Einstein

'Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.' Anais Nin

"Man can learn nothing except by going from the known to the unknown" Claude Bernard

I'll be back in a c0uple of days with a recipe and (god willing) some more inspired thoughts.

dA

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

The Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Yeah. I'm a huge believer in that. A practioner, even.

So I'm thinking I will make a couple of commitments to this page. For instance, did you notice you can buy songs, albums and books without even leaving this website?

Well you can. That's the point of the little slide show of books at the bottom of the page and the album slide show and MP3 deals on the side bars.

("Convenience promotes use", as Bruce Simon taught me many years ago. It's the basic principle of 7/11's and Starvin' Marvins! That's why, if you live in Michigan for instance, when your significant-other calls at the end of a freezing winter day and says something like, "Hey! Stop and get some milk on the way home!", you pull up to the QD, leave the motor running, trot inside and spend $3.50 for a gallon of milk instead of going to Krogers, slogging through the drifts and cold, hiking back to the dairy section and scoring that milk for only $2.99!)

So, in a small way, those little deals on this site are like 7/11 for your eyes and ears! Only without the price hike! Plus, you can score books you maybe don't know about (but which have the Doug Alchin seal of approval!!), or music you haven't thought about in years or maybe haven't even heard at all!! (Have you heard Taj Mahall's version of "Honky Tonk Women", or Mavis Staples doing "Gotta Serve Somebody"? When was the last time you even
thought about listening to John Mayall's "The Turning Point" album or JethroTull's "This Was"? Well, you can sample them in these little boxes and if you like 'em and want to own 'em you can buy them right here!!! AND (here's the cool part) if eight or nine hundred people buy stuff from this site, I can make, like, I don't know....$12 or $16 or something. (Look, I'm not good with details. That's where the devil dwells, and I don't want nothin' to do with that son-of a bitch!)
SO! For you: convient, tested and Doug Alchin approved products at no extra charge!! For me: like a quarter tank of gas or so sometime in November!

You like? Of course you like!!

So. I'm thinking: lists! Different ones each week, maybe:

Kahula's koolest beach songs!
10 great cover songs!
If you like Carl Hiaasen, try Tim Dorsey!!
One Hit Wonders!!
Zappa Song's that should have made it to Radio!
Blues that make me happy!!!
My Favorite ELMORE LEONARD Books that take place in Detroit! (Or Florida!)
BETTER movie or BETTER book books

(OK, "Strip Tease" by Carl Hiaasen off the top of my head.... I'm not making any judgements, you decide and report back here!! That's right! Interactive!!!)

So. We're gonna need list suggestions. Feel free to add your thoughts. We'll figure it out as we go along!


I'll come up with my first list by this weekend. In the meantime take a look at what's there now and see what you think!

888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888

I have a commercial audition in Grand Rapids on Thursday for Hurley Hospital. Keep a good thought...




Friday, July 4, 2008

'Whip It', Extra's, Bow ties, 'While my ukelele gently...

I had an audition yesterday for 'Whip It', a Drew Barrymore directed movie being filmed in the Detroit area this summer.

I read for Cop 1 and Cop 2.

That's right. I got range, dude. Swear to god.

It's funny about these auditions. It's very difficult to figure out how you did. There's not a lot of feed-back from the auditors for one...I mean they're not there to make you feel good, and they're not your acting coaches. They're there to film the huddled masses yearning for a role...(Ohhh! There's a documentary idea: "The making of the making of a movie"; or, "Cut from the herd: How I got my SAG card."

A couple of weeks ago I had an audition for a TV pilot for ABC called "The Prince of the Motor City". I thought I did good. I was still waiting hopefully for a call back when I saw a friend of mine yesterday who told me he not only got the part but was already to wardrobe. (I am not discouraged! Better days ahead for sure!)

I thought I was especially good as a Viet Nam-era vet in the scene at the VFW when I auditioned for the Clint Eastwood flick “Gran Torino” that they're doing here soon:

("Hello, Father. What'er you doing here? Selling tickets for the meat raffle?")

Dude, I killed that line!

Unfortunately, my genuis continues unnoticed and unapreciated.

My friend Janet Pound, (the casting director on a couple of these things), asked me if I was interested in being an extra on "Gran Torino". She said a lot of actors were excited by the idea of being an extra in it. You can be in a scene with Clint and watch him direct up close like!

Yeah, but...it pays like $75.00. Sure, that pays for the gas. And it does leave me a $25.00 profit. But on the other hand, it's not the stuff dreams are made of, really. I mean, the truth is you don't really need to even be an actor to get that gig. YOU could get that gig. It doesn't exactly enhance the old resume. And I've read in books that serious actors shouldn't take extra roles. In books I've read that!

You gotta consider that....

Unfortunately, there aren't alot of places to get advice on this sort of thing.

On the other hand, I have recently looked into ushering at conventions and acting out diseases for the med school at MSU in order to make a little money. And $25.00 is $25.00.

Oh my god. This is what I've come to.

"Leap and the net will appear"

Geronimooooooooo....
*************************************************************************************

Bow Tie (A poem by Doug Alchin)

I'm gonna buy me a bow tie.
(I don't care what people say).
It'll be totally different
than the tie I was wearin' today.
I'm gonna wear it uptown
so that everyone can see,
that they'd better think twice before they think about screwin' with me.

I don't want no string tie.
Or no sissyfied clip-on deal.
I'm gonna buy me a bow tie-
the kind you gotta tie for real.
I'm gonna buy me a bow tie.
I know exactly what I want.
I want to buy me a bow tie.

What're you gonna do to a man who'd wear a bow tie?
What're you gonna do he hasn't already done to himself?
You can't do nothin' to a man who'd wear a bow tie.
That's a dangerous man.
And that's what I am.
So don't get in my way.
I'm gonna go out and buy me a bow tie today.

(Go here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5qakFIecBU for ukelele version of 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' with Jake Shimabukuro and Tommy Emmanuel)


Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Kate Veihl / Artists Way. What Happened??

Well, things are interesting. Rather than drag out the last 35 years or so, here's what's been going on the last couple of years....

Kate Veihl was my theater teacher in high school.She pretty much got me to graduation. (In theater girls found me charming, and I didn't have to risk broken limbs like the football players). She had a remarkable influence on a lot of kids in her years as a high school teacher. Timothy Busfield, Lela Ivey, Greg Ganakas, Dana Brazil and Pat Cain are just a few of her former students that went on to make successful careers in and around theater, television and film. She retired to Hawaii a few years back, but she was in the old home town two summers ago and she and a couple of her past students put on an actors workshop which I attended. I was in that workshop for about 30 seconds and thought:

...well damn! This is all I want to do! It's not like I ever got rich doing anything else. I know how to be broke! I want to be an actor when I grow up...hey. Wait a minute. I am grown up. Hell, I'm 52 years old! Any more grown-up and I won't have the energy to walk on stage....'

So I took a couple of classes from Lela and Dana and did a workshop with Guy Sanville at Jeff Daniels' Purple Rose Theatre.

And then, the coup de grace! I bought a copy of "The Artist's Way" by Julia Cameron. (If you're not familiar with it, it's a sort of inspirational guide to help people recover their creativity, or rediscover their creative nature).

Yikes!

What is this talk of "Synchronicity"?

"We undertake certain spiritual exercises to achieve alignment with the creative energy of the universe."

We do??? Seriously. I had no idea.

"We tend to think, or at least fear, that creative dreams are egotistical, something that God wouldn't approve for us"

Ahh yes. That's something I can relate to!

But wait a minute. You're suggesting that if I believe that God the creator created me in his image, (basic Judeo-Christian ism-ology that a former Catholic school kid can certainly get behind), then creativity is an essential part of my d.n.a.! You are telling me, in writing!, that it's possible for me to ''forge a creative alliance, artist-to-artist with the Great Creator''??? I can act?

No, I mean for money??? I can go beyond dreaming and into "doing"?

No shit?

"Leap and the net will appear."

And the long and the short of it is I quit my job and I've been acting full time since January of '06. It's actually pretty funny. I didn't mean to quit my job right away, it just sort of worked out that way. I had no clue how to get an agent, how to get a gig or, essentially, how to act.

I know. It's not right. OK, it's pretty stupid, actually. But guess what? If it wasn't for the money, I'd be the happiest man in America. I'm working pretty regularly in commercial, print, voice-over and industrial film around the midwest. I have done some live training for a couple of companies that took me all over the country. I have also done some stage stuff that has been huge fun. I got a couple of principle parts in a some small films, and recently had a scene in "Youth In Revolt" starring Steve Buscemi, Ray Liota and Michael Cera (the boyfriend in "Juno").

(Oh yeah...sounds terrific, but being, essentially, wallpaper for Steve Buscemi isn't really the role of a lifetime....Oh God. I pray it isn't my role of a lifetime....).

Of course, I've also lost my house, I'm so broke I can't afford to pay attention and I'm not really impressing anyone when I try to explain that I quit my job to be an actor in Lansing Michigan. But there you go. Somehow, through it all, I cannot escape the sense that I am doing what I should be doing.

So. How's that for a trip to the zoo?

I have great kids and three grandsons in California. I have been so lucky to experience a lot and travel a bit and make some life-long friendships. I can still make people laugh when I don't try too hard and I guess I am a happy guy and a lucky duck.

You know. For the most part.

And when I'm not happy, I try to remember to be thankful for the life god's given me, take a minute to remember the times I could of screwed up waaay more than I actually did and be grateful for what didn't happen.

The rest of the time I'm a pain in the ass.

Counting blessings. So much better than shaking your fist at the universe.