Ah, the stench of love...

Mm-hmm.
The smell in the air should be sublime this time of year in Michigan.
Look outside this morning for instance.
The sky is that startling shade of blue that folks from Carolina like to claim as their own. No clouds in sight.
Up at 7:00 and it was clear and crisp and undeniably autumn.
I'll head up to Uncle Johns Cider Mill before the football game and pick up some fresh apple cider and listen to some banjo music and watch a couple of cheesy Elvis impersonators gyrate on the deck for the amusement of Midwestern families.
Days like this are what we see in our minds eye when our windows are iced up in January and we question what on earth we're doing in Michigan. (Oh yeah...October! Indian Summer in the mitten! Leaves a-paint with impossible color and signs of the harvest abound...)

I stepped out the door earlier in hopes of catching a whiff of an ambitious neighbor burning leaves and...

What the...?

What is that smell?
Dude, did the dogs...?
Nope. That's not it.
Oh my god! It's coming from the computer!
What died in my computer??
It's coming from the in-box in my e-mail!!
Seriously?
You have got to be stroking me....

I better open this one quick. It's from one of my old church friends and it's getting kinda, um, ripe...
Oh my God!
According to this, Barack Obama is a socialist!
And look at this one! He's a freaking a communist, too!!
And look here: the three people who are responsible for the downfall of our financial system all work on Obama's campaign!
He hates Christians!
Dude! He's one of those Muslims that hate GOD!! AND AMERICA!!!

Holy Cats! This one really smells bad! I better open it right away!
What?
Well I'll be a...there now appears to be evidence that Barack Hussein Obama is in fact the anti-Christ!
That can't be good.
That's, like the opposite of Jesus, right?
You know, Jesus.
The God of love? And forgiveness and mercy?
Seriously, dude. The one who was born without sin and gave of his life so that all could enter the kingdom of heaven?
C'mon man, you gotta know who I'm talking about.
Well, even if you don't know him, you have to know his followers.
He said you know them by their works.
They're the ones busy loving their enemies as themselves.
They're all about the love!

They are not the ones who are filling my e-mail in-box with photo-shopped pictures of monkeys with Obama's head attached are they? Impossible.
That's not Christ, that's ugly.
They aren't the ones forwarding missives about how he's a traitor and a terrorist. Can't be.
That's not love, that's hate and fear.
(Not to mention so absurd it would be laughable, except the folks who send it obviously believe it or they wouldn't have sent it to me. Unless they think I'm a total moron...) Hey!

It's weird though.
Virtually all of the negative political propaganda that's cramming up my e-mail is anti-Democrat.
Oh, there's some ugly coming from the other side, too. But it doesn't claim to be God's perspective.
More self-righteous than 'this is what God thinks' righteous.
I don't know why, but I don't find that nearly as unpalatable.
And a lot of the really awful stuff is coming from friends who, if you asked them, would tell you they are Christians.
Most of it I would describe as vile.
Repugnant.
Hateful
Not really God-like, if you know what I mean.
More fear inspired than what I think of as faith inspired.

I'm not real gifted in math, but it doesn't seem to add up.

Me? Yup, I'm a Christian. And I'll admit that my response to this stuff has been extremely un-Christlike. But give me a break, man. I'm responding to the 9 millionth e-mail like this that the same guys keep sending me after I have begged them to stop! Please, in the name of all that is holy, stop!

I think of myself as an independent, politically speaking.

I admit I have a liberal bent when it comes to social issues.
I confess I'm big on that whole 'created equal' thing, and my personal view is that not everyone has historically benefited the same in our system of doing things and that it's not a bad thing that we sometimes give the less fortunate a boost up.
I always thought that was a Jesus thing.
Weird, huh?
But I also believe too much government is a bad thing and I'm not all that enthused about the government giving money to CEO's who've feathered their nest with dollar bills they got from cheating working families.
Dude, I have to pay the price when I get caught lying! Why are these guys such privileged characters??

I voted for McCarthy in my first presidential election.
I voted for Reagan twice and Bill Clinton once.
I voted against both Gore and W. I wasn't impressed with either one of them.
I was a big supporter of the Afghan war and believed, pretty vocally, that this thing in Iraq smelled bad from the get-go.
I personally think that George W Bush is the worse president in the history of our country, but so do a lot of Republicans I know.
And I don't equate John McCain with George Bush.
I like to think I'm pretty open minded about all this.

But enough about what I think.
You don't care and I don't blame you.
Reading about other peoples political beliefs is like reading about their bathroom habits. I don't want to know. Do you?
Have you ever been swayed toward someone elses point of view because they forwarded you some unverified horseshit rant with just enough truth to get you to buy?

Me either.

I loved John McCain on TV last night when some rabid turd in the audience was screaming, "Traitor! Treason! Terrorist!" about Obama and he stopped them and said, "No. That's not right. You don't have to be afraid of Barack Obama like that. He's a good man. He's a family man. He is worthy of our respect. I just d0n't agree with his choices and I believe I would be a better president than he would. He isn't evil. We just disagree."

Dude! I like John McCain in that mode.

I know who I'm gonna vote this year.

And it's none of your damned business.
There is nothing you're going to send me in an e-mail that's going to influence me either way.
All you're going to do is piss me off and put an unreasonable strain on our friendship.

So go ahead and send me bad jokes of a sexual nature.
Let's argue about Michigan State and U of M and agree that the Lions suck.
Boobies! I love me some pictures of boobies! Send all those you want!

But I am begging you, for the 30th time, for the sake of our friendship and my health, don't send me anymore political crap. You're gonna give me a heart attack over here.

Don't you make me come over there!

And besides, Better Days Ahead!

dA